Charm Decoder T-Shirts

"I'd like to be straightforward about all this, but, of course, that's out of the question."

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

You're the olive in my martini

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

"Swing me with your words."

Paw readings

Letter writing lady.

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"Eres la chica mas linda del mundo."

'May I have the key to your heart?'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

"Let's go someplace where I can talk."

Tango

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

'Another martini please.'

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

You've discovered how elderly dudes can keep picking up chicks? I've amended Giacomo's Theorem, yes. The pickup number is now direction proportional to age in instances where charm is also directly proportional to age. Journals from Milan to Vegas are publishing my findings. Of course, there's one flaw in my theory. Hold that thought, I feel some gas coming on. It won't apply to most dudes.

"I am so attracted to you right now."

'It wasn't me - but I'm sure whoever did it had a good reason. Looks, charm and 10 aliases only get you so far.'

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

"Before I start the test, Ms. Masten....May I say you've never looked lovelier!"

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

Siggy

'I just want to warn you if you buy this, you may never again know if people like you for you or your corvette.'

'I got rid of those funny little spots in front of my eyes. Now what's bugging me is a buzzing noise in my ears, like somebody sawing logs.'

"And when I say I'm immune to your charms I think I speak for the herd."

Cupid

Frankly, your honor, I'm unprepaired, so I'm going to have to rely on personal charm and animal magnetism