Charitable Critic Pillows

"I'd like to get back to doing less for charity."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'That's our mission statement.'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'I give this one about three months...'

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

XYZ Inc, putting a folksy, human face on unfettered corporate greed for over 50 years.

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

'What kind of a mission statement is that?'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

Suggestions box in a toilet.

"I think he's overreacting a little when it comes to controlling his employees."

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?

"When we changed the company name, the stocks went through the roof!"

"Progress is going around in the same circle...but faster."

Someone needs to tell him that having Churchillian leadership skills requires more than a 10'' havana

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"Openness and transparency are a big part of our corporate mythos."

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

ANOTHER FINE MESS, INC.

Achiever: An illustration of how many thoughts she can have in a split second, while still listening to him.