Charging Champion Pillows

"I'll go, but only if you promise we won't stay long."

National Everything Awareness Day

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

Make up your mind. Next exit 500 miles.

Save the termites.

'We now have 28 subscription cards in every issue, but we MUST HAVE MORE!'

The nonprofit dog fight.

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

Skateboard Olympics.

"Dad's home."

'All his life, Mel has been convinced that he's a poster boy for something... he's just never been able to figure out what, exactly.'

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

'I got this one from my son who made it at camp.'

Nature Scents Research Department.

Man wearing 'Save the whale, rainforst,legalise pot..' t shirt "I think you need to be more focussed."

'I want to thank all my obstacles for making this possible.'

A woman's work is never done.

'1875 - Captain Matthew Webb becomes the first man to swim the English Channel.'

"Save ALL animals, you bastard!"

'You knew I was an amphibian when you married me!'

'Didn't you remove the bird before washing the cage?'

"They p-p-put m-me in ch-ch-charge."

'Hey, a running suit. I didn't know you were into running. Maybe we could go running together sometime.' 'Actually, I'm not. I'm into elastic waistbands. But hey, maybe we could go eating together sometime.'

"He wants to be beach buggy ready."

'It's alright my previous, it was just a bad dream, there is no super bindweed monster...'

"What's next?"

Defense Not losing Goal Offense Winning

'I'm all in favour of alternative medicine, using boiled twigs and chanting has cut our drug budget in half.'

Died After A Brave Battle With Everything