Charging Challenger Pillows

"Wait, you can recharge them?"

"My email is down... talk to me."

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

Lawnmower

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"Heel! Pass it on."

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"You can't just put on the uniform whenever you don't want to have a conversation, Barry."

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

'I'd like to come over, but Mom cleaned my room and it's going to take me all day to put it right again.'

'I may be an incurable optimist, but I think I can get a raise out of ol' J.P.'

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

Spring cleaning.

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

10 items or less

Man and dog.

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

In case of computer breakdown break glass

'Slow Internet connection! They thought of everything!'

"They p-p-put m-me in ch-ch-charge."

'Well, I hope you're satisfied -- I spent all afternoon going over your return, and I can't find a thing wrong with it!'

"Let's do something really different and daring tonight to stimulate our marriage... Tonight I'll wash and you dry!"

"Judging by all the dishes, you have forgotten where the kitchen is. So, I programmed this GPS for you."

"Oh, yeah, tough guy? Well, maybe this is the night I mop up the floor with you."

Scooter thinks outside the box of treats

"It says, 'sorry ... I forgot you're three hours earlier out there'."

'You're not old enough to refuse to discuss things!'

Elderly couple bearing a sign: '...We take ages.'

'She says I won't understand her until I've walked a mile in her shoes.'

'I revel in competition. I have two charities, right now, vying for my $50 donation.'