Chaotic Motherhood Gifts

'What did the kids do now?!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

Two children play with a pedal bin

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

'Oh, for heaven's sake. Ethan's having another growth spurt.'

'Open it quick before he suffocates.'

Supermom meets her match - super kid.

"I'm glas my dad made me mow the lawn. I found 2 phones, 6 phone chargers and a headset in the grass."

Mother has strait jacket on son to control him at super market.

'An oil spill in the YARD?'

'How many times have I asked you not to slam that door?'

Working from home

'...and these are my two little angels you'll be baby-sitting for tonight...'

Lemonade: Buy 2 cups, get one of my parents' private home videos free"

"Sorry to bother you but I can't ask my son for computer help while he's in a in time out."

"Look at me. Still writing B.C. on my checks."

"That's the hospital car wash- your baby's over here."

'It's the Neighbourhood Watch..."

'And hurry up!- We're almost out of diapers!'

'...and do you Sharon, promise not to kiss him goodbye, or make his packed lunch anymore?'

Domestic Harmony.