Chaos Trainer Gifts

"Roll in the garbage and hop up on the sofa. Someone will be with you shortly."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

Face painting.

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

Chaos Theory - a butterfly flaps its wings...

Future garbage truck driver.

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Woman with kids at husbands office.

Stubborn Horse

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

"Fill me in so I can panic too."

'Hey, everyone! I think I found the bottleneck!'

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

Signs of Stress

Kiss the Commander in Chef

"I'm so good at this!"