Chaos Conductor Gifts

"Can't say I'm surprised. It's a notoriously difficult piece of music."

Dog Day Afternoon

"Don't worry. You'll just be giving an informal seminar."

'Don't worry, the first 30 years working as a sound engineer are the hardest.'

'It all began when they exchange pleasantries.'

'I'm not into politics myself, but I always seem to get caught in the turbulence.'

'He should not have ragouted with a reechy betta.'

'I see your future ... it's gonna be a riot!'

Welcome Cynthia and her flaming performing dogs!

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

Homo Gamus

Future garbage truck driver.

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

'Hey, everyone! I think I found the bottleneck!'

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

"I'm so good at this!"

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

"Hold on a second, Bob. I'm putting you on a stickie."

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

"Isn't it obvious? I'm writing the great American graphic novel."

Caution: use only under child supervison

Stockwell's day

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

'This is my natural habitat.'

"My mom said a tornado hit my room. I checked my weather app, and it said clear skies."

'I didn't want to get the napkin messy.'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'