Chaos Strategist Gifts

"Have I (hic) godda deal for you."

Business Books: How to profit from apocalypse

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

In/Out/These Things Happen.

The Baby Walker

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Quick, start the car!"

"The meeting will come to order."

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

Here and There Trays

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

Fight or Flight

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

Chaos Theory - a butterfly flaps its wings...

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

Riding School Chaos

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Bears going water skiing.

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"I've told you before one at each end!"

'Great Therapy!'

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'