Chaos Strategist Gifts

"Have I (hic) godda deal for you."

Business Books: How to profit from apocalypse

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

In/Out/These Things Happen.

The Baby Walker

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Quick, start the car!"

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"The meeting will come to order."

Here and There Trays

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

Fight or Flight

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

Chaos Theory - a butterfly flaps its wings...

"I've told you before one at each end!"

Riding School Chaos

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'Great Therapy!'

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

Bears going water skiing.

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."