Conflict Strategist Gifts

"He doesn't have a single redeeming quality, he's just disrupting and awful and repulsive, and he has no consideration for other people's feelings."

"That one's for invasion, and this one is for evasion."

High Noon

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

Ukraine Crisis

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

That's What Happens

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

Two Ways out of Iraq.

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

"Nothing like a good shot of democracy to help fight terrorist cells."

Out.

Most valuable element.

Terrorism leaves Iraq and moves on to new places.

Ukraine Crisis

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"You don't even need to lie down on the therapy couch! Any therapy would be totally senseless, Mr. Putin!"

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

Billions for Terrorists, No Tribute to Americans

Got stuck in Iraqi oil, Unca Sam?

"In the spirit of co-operation, peace and friendship with the people of Earth, we welcome Captain Zork and his incredible advanced weapons technology..."

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

Modern Warfare: Surgical Strike

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"World War III? Hmm. O.K., but, remember, nobody gets hurt."

Putin's Mutual Destruction

Foxhole - digging robot