Conflict Strategist Pillows

"He doesn't have a single redeeming quality, he's just disrupting and awful and repulsive, and he has no consideration for other people's feelings."

"That one's for invasion, and this one is for evasion."

High Noon

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

Ukraine Crisis

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Two Ways out of Iraq.

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

"Nothing like a good shot of democracy to help fight terrorist cells."

Out.

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

Got stuck in Iraqi oil, Unca Sam?

Terrorism leaves Iraq and moves on to new places.

Ukraine Crisis

Most valuable element.

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"You don't even need to lie down on the therapy couch! Any therapy would be totally senseless, Mr. Putin!"

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"In the spirit of co-operation, peace and friendship with the people of Earth, we welcome Captain Zork and his incredible advanced weapons technology..."

When cockroaches go unchecked.

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

Modern Warfare: Surgical Strike

Putin's Mutual Destruction

Ukraine Pinata

Nuclear Proliferation

Foxhole - digging robot

"World War III? Hmm. O.K., but, remember, nobody gets hurt."

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."