Chaos Magician T-Shirts

'Gutherie's a genius at clearing the paperwork - I don't know how he does it.'

Face painting.

Before I can stop and smell the roses, I need time to stop and plant the @#$% roses.

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

Unfortunately, napkins hadn't been invented yet, so good ideas were quickly forgotten.

'Food fight!'

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

'Ah, here's your problem - all this spaghetti is real spaghetti.'

"And I suppose cleaning up after yourself just once would in some way stifle your precious creativity."

Something beautiful comes out of a big mess.

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

'We did some exciting things with tempera today.'

'Oh my God, we've been burgle- ... oh wait, I just remembered, we've got children.'

The insurance giants do battle, ironically costing their own companies billions of dollars in claims,

Over. Under. Sideways. Kid.

'Wow, this computer virus is really something else!'

Paint fight art!

"What did I tell you about destroying Mommy's inner balance?"

'Careful - that new bed is a little touchy.'

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

Wallpaper over a door.

Car with upright Christmas tree.

'John's ,um wouldn't have heard if I had said please and thank you - she was too busy shouting for help.'

"I did take off my muddy shoes, mom...these are my socks!"

"Mijo, just do what you always do before you write a paper...it's obviously working!"

"Inspiration"

'The fans are getting impatient. ... Let's give him another minute. If he doesn't come to by then, we'll the brawl without him.'

Pandora's Fax.

He was raised by a pack of wolves, and the cleaning lady who came in twice a month.

"Didn't you want to plant a tree with our grandchild?"

"Amazing - the event horizon of a black hole!"

"I'm raising four kids, a husband, three pets and I work. This is nothing."