Channel Hopping Pillows

'Will you give me that-I want to see more than 30 seconds of 'Eastenders' for once!'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Today's special... donuts.

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

Beer Stall

TV-Man

Best Before 5th Pint.

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

The Rise of Modern Art

I wish I'd had the review.

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

Just the one...

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"Your meal sounded nice."