Changing Room Escapist T-Shirts

'I came out to grab a larger size and got locked out of the change room.'

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

'People, it's 4:55 Friday...and that means Howie starts the weekend with the drum solo from ‘Wipe Out!''

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

Shark swimming in a bathtub surrounded by blood.

"The good news is the frustration of filling out all this paperwork will keep your mind off your pain."

Man entering shed with beer: ?OK Son ? tell your Mum I?ve gone on a mission to Mars and I could be some time! ?

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

"Joining the Army was great for me son; he learned a skill and gained a world of self confidence. Of course, he still won't clean his room."

"I switched hobbies from tropical fish to gardening. I won't feel so bad if I kill a plant."

'Can't read this one either. Think anyone would mind if I just rolled around in them?'

Dangerous tax audits.

'Ejection, your Honor!!'

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Message in a bottle.

"Meet my cats - Step Over Me, Dust Around Me, and Sit Somewhere Else."

'Tell me if this hurts.'

Peeping Periscope.

'Only six more floors to my cubicle.'

"You're a very lucky man, Mr. David. Your insurance covers it."

"Move over! - I just got the bill!"

"Careful, he can smell your boredom."

"You know, on second thought maybe I'll take the stairs."

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name