Courtroom Escapist T-Shirts

'Ejection, your Honor!!'

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

Workaholic on holiday

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

Justice 4 Ron

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"Cubicle 311 is our 'cultural oasis'."

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

"Lisa, bring out the Alistair Cheng files and an iced mochaccino, if you will, please."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"Then I wake up, the cheering has stopped, I have three kids, and I work in a cubicle."

Clock watcher

'Now, dear, I spent 35 years pretending to look busy. I can't just quit overnight!'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"Impartiality becomes you."