Chance Enthusiast Pillows

'John's in charge of advising us on ethical matters, but to be honest, I've never had much confidence in him!'

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

'Heads we declare bankruptcy, tails we try to buy out a profitable megacorp...'

Behind closed doors at the extremely complicated job of determining long weekend gas prices.

"Bob said his decisions were only 30% correct...so he's trying to increase his odds."

Jailhouse Slot Machine.

'I bet the farm at roulette and won. What am I going to do now with 37 farms?'

"You've got to spend money to make money, so I bought a thousand lottery tickets."

'I was groped, rolled and cursed at by a bunch of losers. How was your day?'

-Another winner! How on Earth do you do it? -I stick a pin in the paper -But you had four winners yesterday! -I used a fork!

Leaving America to chance, the USA being eaten by a die

'Excuse me, can I borrow your pin?'

Man with gambling debt, wife says: 'Good news! I had odds of 14 to 1 on you becoming a gambling addict.'

'I like how they took all the confusion out of the game.'

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

"Surprise!"

Not thinking BIG enough: Nickel & Dime Bank.

'That's the first cubicle I ever worked in.'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

"Instead of playing with that boring ball you got me, I updated your computer's operating system, I cleaned your keyboard and ran an antivirus scan."

'And right here they merged...'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

"I know it's a big risk, Fred, but don't lose sight of its strongest selling point: You're taking it, not me!"

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

"I guess one of the bunnies was a boy after all!"

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'