Chance Enthusiast Pillows

'John's in charge of advising us on ethical matters, but to be honest, I've never had much confidence in him!'

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

'Heads we declare bankruptcy, tails we try to buy out a profitable megacorp...'

Behind closed doors at the extremely complicated job of determining long weekend gas prices.

"Bob said his decisions were only 30% correct...so he's trying to increase his odds."

Jailhouse Slot Machine.

'I bet the farm at roulette and won. What am I going to do now with 37 farms?'

"You've got to spend money to make money, so I bought a thousand lottery tickets."

"I call it, 'wheel'. I spin it, drop this pebble, and if you don't guess where it stops, I take your stuff."

'I was groped, rolled and cursed at by a bunch of losers. How was your day?'

-Another winner! How on Earth do you do it? -I stick a pin in the paper -But you had four winners yesterday! -I used a fork!

Leaving America to chance, the USA being eaten by a die

'Excuse me, can I borrow your pin?'

Man with gambling debt, wife says: 'Good news! I had odds of 14 to 1 on you becoming a gambling addict.'

'I like how they took all the confusion out of the game.'

To complete your withdrawal, select denomination. $20's $10's Heads Tails

Your luck. Ernie, no!

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

"Surprise!"

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'That's the first cubicle I ever worked in.'

Not thinking BIG enough: Nickel & Dime Bank.

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

"Instead of playing with that boring ball you got me, I updated your computer's operating system, I cleaned your keyboard and ran an antivirus scan."

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

'And right here they merged...'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

"I know it's a big risk, Fred, but don't lose sight of its strongest selling point: You're taking it, not me!"

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.