Championship Collector Gifts

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

The Victors

Dog Hunting Trophies.

The one that got away

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"... and what’s even worse – I spilled my beer!"

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

Award Winning Gardener

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Win - win

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

Dad Trophies

'Guess what? I won again.'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

Pinata Trophies

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

First Prize!