Chambers Humorist Pillows

Barrister returning to find his clerk not working

Moses on the web

Giraffe Selfie

"See, Og If mammoth foot ticklish, could me do this"

These species are only living off the coast of Southern California!

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Monk Prompt

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

How's my sermon. . .

The Sleeping Congregation.

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

The ten ammendments

'Even More Disciples'

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

"...and in conclusion..."

Bishops Snooker

'Wine? Okay. I really don't care what you call it; let's invite over the two sisters from the cave next door.'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Applause

"Hallelujah!"

'Great escapism, Reverend!'

Very nice, but will it put mammoth meat on the table?

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

Bed Fellow

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

Ten business commandments, city trading floor

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'