Chalkboard Scribblers Pillows

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

When Cells Divide

'Anorak anoraks'.

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

Information booth attendant solves equation

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

"Now that I've made that perfectly clear..."

'Tax.'

The History Teacher

Bird Watching with Binoculars

Professor Isaac goes off on another tangent.

Hans Holbein

'Charles Darwin explains how he came up with the phrase 'Well I'll be a monkey's uncle'.'

'Is it ‘there's method to my madness' or ‘there's madness to my method?' I always confuse the two.'

"This was Professor Brunzberg's office. He spent half his life trying to solve this equation and the other half he has spent wondering who actually cares about this crap."

How to create a brilliant cartoon

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

Modern Nursery Rhymes

'...And now a word from our sponsors...'

Astrophysics made simple.

I will stop making two people who have nothing in common fall in love.

The Teachings of Jesus: Day 1

'Every once in a while my right brain throws something in.'

"I can write my name in the snow. I bet you can't do that."

"Thanks for substituting. I left you some private notes in cursive."

'My formula is incontrovertible proof that there is no such thing as a foolproof formula.'

'It's not a great start to his cartooning career...he's got creative block about what to call himself.'

'I can't read a word of this essay of yours. Excellent work.'