Messy Scribblers Pillows

'I can't read a word of this essay of yours. Excellent work.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

'They've agreed to our 3-book, 7-figure offer, but only if you remain obscene and obnoxious through book 2.'

Modern Nursery Rhymes

Writer’s Corner

"I decided to burn all my previous napkins and start fresh."

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

Writer's Block

"I've learned to express my anger through my writing instead."

A pen spewing letters

The three laws pf pen-o-dynamics

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

That night, Rose found out that her husband was not only a sleepwalker, but also a sleepblogger.

Kate Atkinson

"We have pills for some of that."

Scribbling Rivalry.

James Kelman

"It's from your student loan office."

'Fine, I'll go to my room, but one day when I'm a famous artist you'll be telling this story as an amusing anecdote!'

'I've got my handwriting back from the graphologist - she says I'm shoddy, untidy, and cack-handed - it's uncanny!'

"We're practicing our bad penmanship. In case we want to become doctors some day."