Satirical Scribblers Pillows

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Alexander Pope

"I'm not a food critic I'm a literary critic and I've found the prose on your menu to be second-rate."

The Cartoonist's armoury

'It's the new directive from Brussels. We're to steal from everybody and give directly to the banks.'

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

"Would you like me to get one our experts to tell you what you think of it."

Modern Nursery Rhymes

Writer’s Corner

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

The final reward for a writer... 'R.I.P. At last a deadline I can live with!'

A pen spewing letters

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

'Precise, analytical and beautifully reasoned address. Now condense it down to a snappy sports metaphor.'

"Baldo, it's great that you want to draw editorial cartoons for the school paper. But effective cartoons comment on important issues. They are not a forum for your personal agenda."

'I can't read a word of this essay of yours. Excellent work.'

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

That night, Rose found out that her husband was not only a sleepwalker, but also a sleepblogger.

"We have pills for some of that."

Kate Atkinson

John Bolton

False joviality.