Thought Scribblers Pillows

"We have pills for some of that."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'Anorak anoraks'.

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

Will Self deprecation

'Honestly, I didn't mean any of those things I wrote about you in my diary last night!'

Modern Nursery Rhymes

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

Anna Burns

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

Writer’s Corner

A pen spewing letters

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

"It took me 4 years to finish my book!"

Kate Atkinson

What do you think of my idea for non-violent protests of Arizona's onerous immigration laws? Outdated. But - This is the era of MMA - Martial Arts Brawls, pay-per-view battles to submission. If you're mad at Arizona, challenge it to a cage match until one of the other of you breaks your forearm!!! Know your audience. I'll pay $16 to watch you wrestle Arizona's governor.

That night, Rose found out that her husband was not only a sleepwalker, but also a sleepblogger.

False joviality.

Chicken soup for the bloggers soul.

James Kelman

The Poet

Monk with a crucifix pen.

"It's from your student loan office."

'My blog has its own blog.'