Chair Reservist T-Shirts

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

Parade of Businessmen

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'Don't worry, Skeeter, the Big Guy is really gonna take to you.'

'Who's going to tell him he's been outsourced?'

"There's no need to go round the table - I know who I am."

'As your new CEO, I want to tell you... we need to talk.'

'My predecessor left some big shoes to fill.'

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

"The secretary will now read the minutes from our last meeting."

'Would you care to hold until Mr. Jyles is better adjusted.'

Introverted Chair

'Okay, places everybody! Here comes the Chairman.'

'I must say Cringley in these days of whizz kids it's refreshing to find a good old fashioned groveller....'

I dread to think what he would have got had they made a profit.

Armchair Dancing

The Department Chairs react to the budget cuts.

'Don't just sit there, hire someone who agrees with me.'

"In order to expedite this meeting, I'm putting you all on mute."

'I think he's still having trouble with the concept of 'one man, one vote'!'

'My favorite position? Chairperson of the Board.'

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

"Have you tried burping him?"

'Well, yes, a little lonely, dear. But I have Mog. And my Grand Theft Auto...'

"There ya go. Cushion rot from farting into the same old chair for 40 years"

'First the good news - we don't have to pay any corporate taxes this year.'

Profits - Congratulations, Sedwick! You are the new chairman!

"Matsuzaka has an ERA of 3.88, yet Francona’s starting Schilling. Doesn’t that seem counterintuitive to you?"

"I worked my whole career to get a chair, and this is it?!"