University Chair Assistant T-Shirts

The assistant to the chair begins another busy day.

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

In basket-case.

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Morning, all!"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

Good Luck!

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

Shake it all about sign on desk

Parade of Businessmen

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

Genius Envy

Pin the blame on the donkey.

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

'Our Board of Directors are really very fickle!'

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

"....how many kids have we got now?"

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'Remember - Reilly's Chairman of the Board, but Henderson's the Alpha male.'