Chafing Eliminators Gifts

'I'm telling you, with the right moisturizer and lip balm you could avoid all of that chaffing.'

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

'Long shift?'

Tangled Earphones Support Group.

"What if my inner demons want to write about bunnies?"

"Once you've jumped over the moon, standing around in a field all day just doesn't cut it."

"First break since 1996!"

"I'm considering going client side. That way I can still be an a*****e and actually get away with it."

List making as therapy.

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

Rower Bobby Pearce stops mid-race to let some ducks cross his path safely

I am ready for my wine.

"Sure, I had a retirement plan. Stop going to work"

"I am ready for my wine."

'Monday morning feeling? But it's thursday!'

Sign on the door of an Allergy Ward in a hospital says: NO scratch and sniff get well cards

'He unwound on his vacation and never wound up again!'

'Looking forward to your retirement, Campbell?'

"Sharpen my teeth! I'm a linebacker!"

"Still won't start?"

Woman approaches a clock with a tick and flea killer.

Here we like to keep anger tied up.

"O.K., one at a time, step forward and say, 'That's it, lady - you've blocked your last escalator.' "

"It's too cold in here. The boss is a jerk. My feet hurt."

"Take two, twice a day to help control rage. By the way, I put them in a child-proof bottle and overcharged you."

Antihistamine: The other side of the pro-histamine debate.

Tooth ache.

Smokers not putting their cigarette butts in the bin person so frustrated he puts the smoker in the bin

Computers Support and Repairs: "We don't sell sledgehammers."

'Let's skip the anesthetic. I study yoga so I think I can transcend-dental-medication.'

...Phone Rage Counselling Clinic, please hold..

"A new government survey has suggested that living along and watching too much tv can make some people very angry."