Certificate Catchers Gifts

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Make a lot of money."

Opening the door to new customers

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

Four fishermen catch the same fish.

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

Balk? Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk!

"Did Yogi Berra ever say anything besides 'It ain't over till it's over'?"

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

'I got one this small.'

"Idiot! I signaled for a sinker!"

Time traveller of the year, 3173, A.D.

'Psst - my wife works part time for the IRS!'

Shows Bundt

Woman to dog: 'This is you, Rex! Now start acting like you're registered!'

"Isn't that cute? He's reading his diplomas again."

"I know you went to Harvard, but stop asking to see my resume."

"All staff are equal...but some are more equal than others!"

World's Best Dad

"You know, you're giving away my heater when you put on the oven mitt."

'Thanks, I started collecting diplomas when I was seven.'

"Tell me about the bar codes and sales prices on the back of your certification diplomas."

A filing cabinet of taxes lands on the American Gothic couple.

'Oh Jerry! Like in that old song, you really caught a falling star for me! This is sooo romantic!'

' I thought we had six fish in the livewell.'

"I'm sorry, but that one was too close to call."

As a home-schooled student, Renee found it tougher and tougher to muster any genuine surprise.

Fish chopped by hydrofoil

'What makes you think you're so smart?'

WHEW!

'Yeah, well I bet your FULL of surprises, aren't you buddy boy!'

"To what do I owe this honor?"