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"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

Face painting.

'Okay.. what the hell.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Face painting by numbers.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"Not guilty?"

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

Folk Wedding

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'Does my head look big in this?'

'Sorry, I always cry at weddings...'

New Year's Eve party for dogs

Extra Long-jump

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'