Ceremony Buffs Pillows

"Maybe if we hold her under longer."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'He does.'

A salute of scouts

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

'Does my head look big in this?'

"Did you have to go on about his being 'officially unavailable' and 'defying the nature of his masculinity?"

'What, They're comfortable.'

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

Animals of the Royal Wedding

Double Wedding

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

Tribal masks.

'Will you hold it down? This is IMPORTANT!'

"Just a moment, please. I would like my mother's maiden name included."

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

The wedding cake as Holy Sacrament.

"You're not supposed to throw tinned rice!"

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

RETIREMENT VOWS

'Tell me, Sadie -just how many times is it now that we have been gathered here today?'

"I now pronounce you guilty."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife. You may assume the position.'

"God it was rough coming into the office this morning after the awards ceremony" "It must have been, you work two doors down"

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

Christening

Principal: 'Is THERE a DOCTORATE in the House?!'

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."