Ceremonial Humorist Pillows

Once a month she purified the mailbox of the Evil Spirit of Rejection.

"I thought he was about to be knighted, too, didn't you?"

"It's boilerplate marriage vows with a pre-nup rider. Just hit the 'agree' button."

"....but it doesn't half get in the way on the bike."

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

Graduates on their phones

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

'He does.'

Radiator jazz player

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Guitar pickin'

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

Rap-scallions

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

Double Saxophone

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Edward Elgar.

"Ding" "Dong"

Dr. Phil takes it home.

No Instruments Please

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

'Never mind singing it in rap...a simple 'I do' will suffice.''

"Y'know, sooner or later we're going to have to let her go out unaccompanied."

Now, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto.

"There can be no doubt. This proves it. We gotta have more cow bell."

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

A saxophone player reads music that says, 'Dade, dade, dade, dade, dade, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' with the eeeeeeees falling off the music stand onto the floor.

Maurice Ravel.