Cerebral Humorists Pillows

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

Terry had a computer bug.

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

Hardware and software

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

How Glaciations Begin

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

The new Physics

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

Evolution...the dandy lion.

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

Evolving/Devolving

Complex equation results in the conclusion that cats are better than dogs.

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

Evolution...the wifi rhino.