Central Heating Appreciator T-Shirts

'Can I come in for a bit? It's flipping freezing out here!'

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

it my imagination or is it getting warmer?"

Phoenix

"My kid could do that."

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

They can't all look like sheep butts.

"It's a pizza leaflet..."

'Now, our master is always polite and leaves the seat up for us, not like our Mistress...'

'Turn up the air conditioning. Panting always puts us at a disadvantage during negotiations.'

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

"I think I see it, guys!" "That's a rock." "Look! A dead snake." "Here's an old balloon... I think!" "World's smallest ball of twine."

Great Urban Sprawl

"Seriously, Ice-Skating? You want to try out Ice-Skating?!"

Perpetual Motion.

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

Look...a friendly face.

Trainspotter spotting: 'Gosh! A type 406 with original thermos.'

Giant Visitor

"You will have my dead body but not my obedience."

The why-can't-this-event-be-in-miles-like-other-sports-on-this-country 10K.

'I wish I had a dime for every prey that's escaped, then I could afford to eat out once in awhile.'

"His parents were pretty open-minded, romantically speaking."

Rudy, look, an airplane! What? Where? Out the window. Ooh, it's a big one. See it?! Yeah, so? House of Java Cybercafe. When I feel bad about something, my parents try to focus my attention on something else. Like: You lost a girlfriend, but there's an airplane. And it's flying by a cloud shaped like a frog! Very nice try. Still sad.

"With all that tinkering do you really save time?"

Fussbudget 1989

'Todd, have you ever noticed how thunder sounds like the angels are bowling?... Todd?'

"To help with the constant ringing in your ears, I'm prescribing instructions to set up your voice mailbox."

"Spoiler alert - it's Captain's Savory Fish Shreds again."

'It's not that I mind you criticizing my spelling - it's just that this happens to be Algebra!'

Maternity/Eternity