Center Court Aficionado Pillows

Enes Kanter

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

Pre-Minstrel Tension

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

Criminal Stupidness

'What are the chances? I mean, all 10 players simultaneously dive for a loose ball and conk heads?'

Judge

"Not guilty, Your Honor, on the basis of a previously undiagnosed and untreated case of Integrity Deficit Disorder!"

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION ACLU, HELP TAKE A BITE OUT OF LAW, 'I like it!'

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

"This is a complex matter, we can't keep repeating 'Possession is nine tenths of the law' at the judge."

Truth, Justice, Equality and Public Relations