Cement Mixer Appreciator T-Shirts

Theory #243 on how fossils were made.

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

The Book Lover

"My kid could do that."

2 Ohm and 4 Ohm Amps,

"It's a pizza leaflet..."

Mathematician on the couch.

"I try to mix art cases with technical cases and have each side of my brain log billable hours."

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

"Recently, Ludwig Mizzledorp came up with some startling discoveries in particle physics. I'd like to sing for you some of his equations."

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your ... did you get a perm?"

Petition to ban petitions from outside this market.

"Sorry, grandpa, but wiggling the antenna won't restore your cable and Internet."

Perpetual Motion.

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

"You definately have a musical ear"

'It's for Pookie.'

'This is the last time I go golfing with a lumberjack.'

Nit Lotion - "Reconnaissance pictures clearly show the enemy's chemical stockpile."

"His parents were pretty open-minded, romantically speaking."

"Why did you tell them we are vegetarians?

Bertrand Russell.

The Rolling Stones Bank

"With all that tinkering do you really save time?"

'Try using this.'

'It's not that I mind you criticizing my spelling - it's just that this happens to be Algebra!'

Always Be Clawing

Maternity/Eternity

'You're a high-frequency trader, and I'm a high-frequency tweeter. Cool.'