Cellular Automata Gifts

John von Neumann, after completing his book. 'Theory of Self-Replicating Automata'.

Protoplasm

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

'Dear, when I die, what ever you do, don't donate my body to science.'

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

'Well it's obvious when we went through mitosis, the brain went to my side!'

'Dr. Fenton discovers a new killer cell.'

Amoeba mitosis Divorce

"This tone means the battery is low. This one means you've just driven over a pedestrian. And this one indicates that someone sitting near you in a coffee shop is about to grab your phone and stuff it down your throat!"

'A giant killer macrophage! Doctor, this is madness!'

"What the heck!! These cells aren't dividing, they seem to be moving closer together??"

'You get all the money and both cars? How is THAT fair?'

"Your father and I thought it was time you knew. You've been genetically engineered."

"Back in Great, Great. . . Grandad's day there was more than enough sunlight for everybody. . ."

'I've willed my body to science when I die.'

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

'I would join your multi-cellular organism, but I value my independence.'

"No, no, the pyramids are to your left. That thing's a cell tower."

Dog has cellphone. Woman says to man: 'I think he likes you. Look, he wants to swap mobile numbers.'

"Come on, smile, it's for our food blog..."

"The good news is I rescued your cell phone. However, all your minutes were used up."

'Can you hear me now?'

Amoeba: 'Today I'm going to sit down and have a little self-to-self talk about the reproduction process.'

'Hey, rat, most of us use our one call to contact a lawyer, not Crime Stoppers.'

"Psst -- Your mitochondria are showing!"

Robot officer at work

"To be honest, I was little nervous when you insisted on being the one on top."

The Cellular Bulletin Board: 'Bifurcate! Now that I've got your attention.'

'Sorree can't chat - got no credit.'