Cellphone Savant Gifts

"Talk for all of eternity, just $29 a month."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

TV-Man

"Dad's barbeucuing again so Mom's got the pizza place on speed dial."

Binge Watch

All the apps hidden within a phone

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

The Plasmas.

"Wait...... I'm in the bathroom for one minute and you answer my wife's 'Where are you' text with..... 'I'm in a bar with Pete, checking out chicks, foxes and a cute little beaver'??"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

"You doomscroll, I make coffee, and together we forge bravely into each new day."

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

Mind control

'I've decided to replace all human interaction with personal electronics.'

"Cool game!"

Computer grabs man and tells him to stop it.

'No one is making fun of you. You're just being overly sensitive.'

'Ideally, I'd like a job where my multi-application cell phone will do all the work.'

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

'Our customer service was lousy, but from now on, we'll give the personal touch. Let's write to 'Hey lassies and dudes, what's up?'

"You no longer have to worry about me dropping my phone. The new phone comes with an airbag."

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

Consumer care and technologies

"My new mobile phone makes me feel so space age!"