Celestial Negotiator T-Shirts

'They're still ticked off about losing the cost-of-living allowance.'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"...Ooh, I wanna know more about your dark side!"

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

"I hear the Universe is expanding - set up a meeting with their people."

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

"Who do we talk to about buying your planet?"

"Sadie, they found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets we've discovered in my lifetime." "It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are." "...Unless they've got telescopes." "It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus." "I see you're bringing what passes for your 'A-game' today."

"First, I storyboarded it."

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"Is there room for me?"

Possible Merger Talks

'Bill, we've decided to increase your sales territory.'

'Management says we've had it too good for too long. They're demanding concessions.'

'Listen, I obeyed more or less 25% of your commandments. Don't you think that I deserve a promotion or at least a little raise for that?'

'Everything's heavenly! How about you?'

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

Sell the Universe !

God lines up Siding Spring to pot Mars in the middle pocket.

'OMG!'

Fortunes. . .$20, Impressions. . .$10, Clenches. . . $5, Wild Guess. . . $2.

'It's For You.'

"A million prayers a day with not a single self-addressed stamped envelope. And they wonder why there's never an answer."

'Hey, it's Heaven, why wouldn't we cash in on that?'

'My manager thought this might help me sell a few more CDs.'

"A spot near the almighty!"

Wolf Email to the Moon

"This can't be heaven, where's the shops?"

Earth/billiard ball

"Who are you?"

Subway rider holds onto man's tie.

Halo.

'How can tweeting be hard for someone so bird-like?'

Union Rep