Celestial Event Junkie Gifts

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'Let's see what they're screwing up today.'

'Things just haven't been the same around here since people starting saving files in the cloud.'

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

No caption. (An astronomer looks through a high-powered telescope while a baby in a crib looks through a hand-held scope).

Glimpses One Dollar

You are everywhere.

Angel with speed camera.

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'I hate to break it to you, but moons don't grow up to be planets OR stars.'

"Do you hear what I hear?"

'Whoops!'

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"I'm your sun!"

Sun Wearing Sunglasses/Moon Wearing Night Vision Goggles

"Gazing at stars really makes you realise the insignificance of your co-workers."

Efforts Results In Seeing Stars

'No, Brian, an asteroid impact would never take us by surprise like it did the dinosaurs because we're highly intelligent and they were very stupid and dull-witted.'

"Papi! There's a lunar eclipse tonight at 2:47 in the morning!"

'He seems nice.'

Shoot for the moon or die in the vacuum of space

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Celestial Sadie, In the Western sky after sunset, Jupitor can be seen nearly aligned with Venus. What do you make of this? R. Yates. Excellent question. That reminds me of a long lost civilization, in which there was no such thing as a typo. Where no one ever hit the wrong key because they wrote letters by hand. Eventually, it became so obsessed with speed that it began typing everything, and so inconsiderate that it soon stopped bothering to proo

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

'I miss the evildoers.'

CPA. It looks like some of our clients might have tax problems this year. Halley's Comet files a return only once every 75 years. And the black hole seems to be hiding lots of income. Neither Pluto nor Mars can pay what they owe. Pluto's assets are frozen. And Mars isn't called the "Red Planet" for no reason. I think earth might be the only one getting a refund. Of course, it has billions of dependents!

'They're plowing you? -- how does it feel?', 'Groovy!'

Yoga birthday.

Budget Astronomy

'Looking at the stars makes me feel small. I'm going off of my diet.'

"Apparently, 60 is the new dead."

"What luck!"