Celestial Documentarian T-Shirts

"Don't mind me. I'm just doing a documentary..."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

Water is discovered on the moon....

Local News in Heaven

Kirsten Johnson

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

'Those are the Divinity students.'

An amplified harp

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

God creating the galaxy.

Heaven

"I still maintain an online presence."

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

Life on cloud 8

"Sometimes I miss a good smiting."

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

"So much for eternal rest."

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

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