Celestial Banter Mugs

'I realize this might be carping,but I never did long enough to enjoy my IRA account.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"...Ooh, I wanna know more about your dark side!"

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

Shoe repair

Be sure to walk you Asteroid twice a day.

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"Sadie, they found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets we've discovered in my lifetime." "It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are." "...Unless they've got telescopes." "It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus." "I see you're bringing what passes for your 'A-game' today."

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

New Years Reolutions

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

'I miss the evildoers.'

"Look...the Pope's not stoppin' by for a little chit chat! He's here to admonish you and revoke your powers in the name of God!"

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

Ken wandered home wondering what the lunar new year would bring. . . like every other man and his dog.

"We're thinking about getting a little pied-a-terre in hell."

'Everything's heavenly! How about you?'

Benedict XVI Resigns.

"Of course - I believe in the Great Spin Doctor in the sky!"

Halo Repair

Uh-Oh...

'It's no big deal. Most of them are posthumous.'

'It's hard to believe that they started out with just SEVEN deadly sins.'

"Are you sure you're in the right place?"

'I still feel empty.'

"Christ on a bike. Again. Again with the electric shaver."

"I don't know about this freelancing. I'd like someone to guard."

"Do you have anything with a view of God?"

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

'Welcome to heaven buddy! We got some stronger stuff inside, but this will get you into the mood.'