Celebrity Watcher T-Shirts

Nancy Wheeler/Natalia Dyer

'We're not intrusive - we keep a respectable distance.'

'This next song is about setting boundaries, and how now I wish I had.'

'American, idle.'

Rod Stewart

Pile of books for sale with sign: Expired Fifteen-Minutes-of-Fame Books.

15 Minutes of Fame - 25 years of comebacks please help.

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

'And who are you wearing?'

'Well, to be honest, I am a little surprised. You look so much taller on TV.'

Dolly Parton

'Look on the bright side -- no paparazzi!'

News Celeb Divorce: Long-suffering wife tells us of abusive husband, In tomorrow's news - dignified husband tells us of vile grabbing wife.

"I know being a celebrity might not make me happy but I could be an unhappy celebrity."

Celebrity Welding

"All clear, I can't see any wildlife paparrazzi."

Talent Agency: Here Today/Gone Tomorrow.

Celebrity Anorexics

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

"Call yourself a supermodel, where's your professional footballer?"

Footballer with body-guards.

'My opponent may have the support of organised labour, but I have support of three highly acclaimed Hollywood movie stars.'

"You look good, Douglas, but I'm afraid we're not looking for an 'It Boy' right now."

"Mom! Come quick! Dad is on TV!"

Top 100 best guesses what celebrities do - when they're not reminiscing on top 100 best of shows.

Man leaves stretch limousine in a stretch wheelchair.

"Ok, now, let's get one of you demanding your privacy."

Have you noticed how chefs have replaced hairdressers in the social pages?

The changing times of 'fame'.

Donald Trump Celebrating Oscar

"This Year on the Via Venetto... Paparazzi with Fiber Optics."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"But you just had to elude the paparazzi."

"Whoa, check it out - Bill Murray just crashed our cartoon!"

"You'd think a celebrity sex tape would display a higher degree of showmanship."