Celebrity Tooth Collector Pillows

The Tooth Fairy's pension plan

Occu-Pie Mars

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Build your very own conflict of interest!

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Banana Split...

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Turtle Hat

E-Baying @ The Moon

Filet minion

"The Eggsorcist"

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

Snowmobull

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

A trevor of trainspotters

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

"Whose the new guy?"

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

"What do you mean, there's no room for my stuff?"

An Extraordinary Pointer

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

'ANYTHING to get down the ruddy boozer!'

The embarrassment of mistaking a salon for a saloon.

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

Rent a Room With Hot Water