Celebrity News Enthusiast Gifts

'That's better. ... OK, now you may ask your question.'

'You build a celebrity, then knock it down again.' 'Tabloid journalist lego.'

I've decided not to come clean. I've decided not to reveal who told me that Mitch McConnell has a crush on Dr. Pimple Popper. And why not? Why take such a principled stand? 'Cause he get more dough for his book deal to reveal the name later. He's got values.

'This is a very, very sad day!'

Famous Hollywood star lives with wife, drinks in moderation.

Charlie Sheen interruption...

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Tom Hanks

George Clooney Machine

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

Hollywood Breakup

Ringo Starr

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"I'd leave Redford for George Clooney in a hartbeat."

JET (Part I)

Leo McKern

Justin Timberlake

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

Amanda Seyfried

Larry King

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

Bette Midler

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

Wayne and Kerry created a joint name like their idols Brangelina and Tomkat.

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

Viggo Mortensen

"There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Lol. Winky face."

Meryl Streep

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Groupeé? You can call me "Booster." Dr. Noodle. Hey, who was that who just left your office? Was that that historian I saw on TV? Herodotus Jenkins? I can't say. He's the best. He come here this time every week? I can't say. And who's that out in the waiting room? Is that Brock Manly of "Fast & Furious 12" fame? I can't say. What brings you here? I heard you treat all the famous people. I just thought it might be nice to know the rich and famous are as messed up a

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!