Celebrity News Addict Pillows

"His publicist said he died peacefully. And now, a word from our sponsor, a publicist looking for a new client."

'Good news. We're not Daft Punk.'

Tom Hanks

"Oh my God, they're gassing refugees. Look at this family!"

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

JET (Part I)

Hollywood Breakup

"I'd leave Redford for George Clooney in a hartbeat."

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

'I'm afraid we can't make it. Harry just finished watching Meet the Press, C-Span, Face the Nation, Fox News Sunday, the Sunday Times, Newsweek, Time...'

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

The end of election 2016

"To sum up the political platforms of the candidates....Trump wants to put Hillary in prison, and Hillary wants Trump on the sexual predator list."

EU Deal

"And I thought I was toxic. . ."

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

Larry King

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

"? ???????? ?????, ??? ???????? ? Waukesha County."

To Get Pardoned by Trump, Become a Celeb

election polling

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Groupeé? You can call me "Booster." Dr. Noodle. Hey, who was that who just left your office? Was that that historian I saw on TV? Herodotus Jenkins? I can't say. He's the best. He come here this time every week? I can't say. And who's that out in the waiting room? Is that Brock Manly of "Fast & Furious 12" fame? I can't say. What brings you here? I heard you treat all the famous people. I just thought it might be nice to know the rich and famous are as messed up a

"This is gonna be great!"

"I'll check your circulation."

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

Inventor of wheel and discoverer of fire seen on date! More (arrow). The first tabloid.

'You think economic news on TV could be adversely affecting our patient?'

Emily Ratajkowski

E Pluribus Nada

Impeachment to Trump

Freaking out about Trump, Letting Bush off the Hook

Sammi and her 'partner' decide to have their child baptized at a Suuuuper-inclusive church