Celebrity News Addict Pillows

"His publicist said he died peacefully. And now, a word from our sponsor, a publicist looking for a new client."

"Oh my God, they're gassing refugees. Look at this family!"

Tom Hanks

Hollywood Breakup

JET (Part I)

"I'd leave Redford for George Clooney in a hartbeat."

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

"To sum up the political platforms of the candidates....Trump wants to put Hillary in prison, and Hillary wants Trump on the sexual predator list."

"And I thought I was toxic. . ."

"? ???????? ?????, ??? ???????? ? Waukesha County."

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

The end of election 2016

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

'I'm afraid we can't make it. Harry just finished watching Meet the Press, C-Span, Face the Nation, Fox News Sunday, the Sunday Times, Newsweek, Time...'

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

EU Deal

Vladimir Putin as Uncle Sam

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

"I'll check your circulation."

'Remember your blood pressure, dear!...the Dr, warned about anything that would anger you, like this divided congress and their inability to compromise on things beneficial to the nation.'

"This is gonna be great!"

'You think economic news on TV could be adversely affecting our patient?'

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

election polling

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!