Celebrity Gossip Gifts

'...and that concludes this episode of celebrity talk. Now back to your humdrum lives.'

'My degree is in journalism but with a major emphasis in celebrity gossip.'

Three prisioners in bunk reading 'Hello'

"This should knock up the viewing figures!"

'I'm from the First Infidelity Bank. I noticed you people drafted Tim Tebow in the first round last year and I'm here to talk to you about overdraft protection.'

'She'll be back!!!'

Deepening rift between royal brothers

Rooney V. Vardy (As if anyone really cares...)

"Of course, it is difficult living your life in the public eye."

"It's Paul Hollywood's signature dish, an embarrassing relationship breakdown with a hint of chauvinism and celebrity narcissism."

"Not so much as a mention on Wikileaks."

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt

"I never thought I'd actually miss the Kardashians."

"Reverend John Ship performed the nuptials. Attorney Thomas Sims performed the prenuptials."

"Hey! Will that be Thingy out of 'Whatdyamecallit'?"

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

I told you Lindsay Lohan was a crappy driver!

"I can't believe it. Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are breaking up. What about the children?"

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

"I was wondering...who's your celebrity crush?"

'Would madam care to see the menu, or would she prefer to peruse the inane twitterings of so-called celebrities.'

"I've been playing fantasy football all night - I dreamt you were David Ginola-then David Beckham-then...."

Ashton Kutcher/Demi Moore break up.

'What do you mean: 'William Roache, huh, amateur!'?'

'Good news! The public couldn't give two hoots about your torrid love-life.'

Sex Scandals of the Rich and Famous.

Famous Hollywood star lives with wife, drinks in moderation.

Vulture reading 'Meat' magazine.

Famous Hollywood star lives with wife, drinks in moderation.

Madonna's Adoption.

'I didn't know there WAS an 'idle gossip dot com.''

'Maps to courthouse where celebrities are on trial.'

'Lil' Bo Peep has really let herself go!'

Wayne and Kerry created a joint name like their idols Brangelina and Tomkat.

Another celebrity couple on its way to a high-stakes divorce.