Celebrity Chef Stalker T-Shirts

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Halloween may be a little different this year.

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

How I met your mother

TV Chef Cooking Range

Skyscraper Chef's Hat.

"Well, he's a celebrity chef and the celebreties love his cooking."

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"More helium."

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

'Just call me Delia...'

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

Mock Apple Pie Recipe

'And stir to a smooth consistency.'

"Do you like eye of newt in your Mac 'n' Cheese?"

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'