Celebrating A New Baby Pillows

'She blogged her first word today.'

'Thank you...and now could I trouble you for a ham on rye?'

'Good night darling...sweet nightmares.'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

Santa Claus's Mail

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

baby sweetcorn...

Pool attached to child's bed.

Late night teddy reading

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Swinging on a star.

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

A mother and baby elephant

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

The No No No's

Twenty-first century baby walker

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."