Cautious Swinger Pillows

Anatomy of a golfer's brain.

Golfing Bishop.

No Immediate Danger

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"I don't want our date to end, either, but my arm is about to fall off."

Thursday is the new Friday

"I didn't know it was poison ivy. It didn't have any warning labels."

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

For 29 years, Bert's strategy had been to reach retirement without making any waves,missteps or career-limiting moves. And it might have worked, too, if only he'd foreseen the fossilization risk.

"You can come in. But don't try anything funny."

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

Bob's driving you crazy range.

'If you shoot your foot off don't coming running to me.'

"Looks very promising. Put us down for one half of one share."

"He wants the cat for his next trick. I'd be real careful about this, Eileen."

"On reflection, it might be prudent to leave this one till last..."

"My mom says you can sleep on the top bunk if your parents will sign a release form."

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

"Measure twice. Wipe once."

"Okay, guys. Don't open your chutes till I give the word."

'Hmmm, this is too good to be true: I can smell a rat...'

'You should try to be more spontaneous.' 'I shall. When I'm good and ready.'

"When did you start feeling that people were ignoring you?"

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten out genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

Half a loaf is better than none..

'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'

'Mom says if you're going to buy anything online,I'm supposed to make sure it's a secure site.'

"She wants to make sure we don't lose her money..."

"Just relax. Your investments are so safe you'll be worth a million dollars if you live to be 169."

"Judging by the belt and suspenders, I sense you're a risk averse investor."

Cancel that turkey and prawn sandwich and make it cheese.

"We'd prefer the sort of place where we won't catch any disfiguring diseases or be killed by fanatics."