Cautionary Advice Lovers T-Shirts

'... And as soon as it's discovered, don't play with fire!'

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

Street signs you don't want to see.

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"Don't be an idiot, Larry."

Geekasaurus.

On the scale of 1-10, do you like it?

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

Robot Olympics

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."

Geekasaurus.

Only Larry showed a look of concern as he remembered his mother's warnings that he should never run with Scissors.

Giant bird.

"Good day, young sir! Would you care to exchange your cows for some preference shares in Beanstalk Development Industries?"

"I've followed this guy on social media for years, so I figure I can't go wrong following him in real life..."

10 love tips from experts to you

"Something tells me we should avoid the sushi here!"

Unnecessary alarm company

'Tortoise and the ne'er-do-well...'

"Just a word to the wise, and Gary..."

Beware of unexploded fireworks when burning rubbish.

"I've said it until I'm blue in the face - keep sitting on walls and something bad's going to happen. But what do I know? I'm just your mother."

'Honestly Nigel, your need for Special Advisers has got completely out of hand.'

"Nope. I'm not falling for another Pyramid Scheme."

Stop before it's too late

Clancy: Advice for a Bad Memory

"You must try your best...no matter what you do. Just don't get obsessive."

'Your dad gave me his permission. And then some.'

"You should all get along beautifully. Fred handles toxic wastes, Doris works at a nuclear reactor, and Walter just isn't taking any chances."

"You might wanna lay off the Generics."

'I'm sorry, John, but I can't marry every man I'm in love with.'

"And if he decides not to empty the dishwasher, can I recommend a half Nelson, forearm smash, followed by a Boston crab."

'Your father and I never joined the union. Don't you make that same mistake.'