Cautionary Comedy Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Ethel always insisted on seeing I.D. before opening the door to strangers'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Police Feline Unit

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Dog Walking Services

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Skiing.

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

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