Cattle Jester T-Shirts

...and finally, there will be no more pogoing in the farmhouse!

'How about a game of cards?'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"I say we move on to dessert."

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

Basketball.

"Another slander suit!"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Cockerel sings the blues...

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

'What are the chances? I mean, all 10 players simultaneously dive for a loose ball and conk heads?'

'The 'most improved player of the year award' or the 'you don't suck as much as you did last year award' goes to...'

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

The Rural Bidet...

"Behind the back, between the legs, around my disappointed parents, nothing but net."

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

"She's about to get him on the rebound."

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'It just came out. It handles forehands, backhands and overheads all in one motion.'

"Oh, no, it's not a problem at home. We need help with communication on the court."

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

Oops! Basketball Game Interrupted

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'And that m'lord concludes the case for the defence. . . '

Just another day at Helium Farm

A centi-stampede.

I think I'd like to make a motion at this time, your honor, but I cut a lot of classes in law school, and I'm not sure if I should make a motion to strike, or compel, or set aside a judgment, or

So you'd like to be a lawyer...

"I can try, but I've never had a marriage overturned on appeal."