Cathartic Laugh Seeker Pillows

Reminder: You're sad

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"OMG, LOL!"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"What did Jesus order?"

"Projectile hairballing."

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

Drunk Barber

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"Hey! Get back here!"

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Bald Man Overcomb

Football heads...

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

"Will you stop comparing me to your mum!"