Cathartic Laugh Seeker Pillows

Reminder: You're sad

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"OMG, LOL!"

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"What did Jesus order?"

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

"Projectile hairballing."

Drunk Barber

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"Hey! Get back here!"

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Football heads...

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

Bald Man Overcomb

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

Ask Sadie

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.

"From here on out it's term and conditions."